


Even Then, Even Now: Looking At You

by silverdoll14



Series: Even Then, Even now... [2]
Category: Arashi (Band)
Genre: Cross-Posted on LiveJournal, Drama, Fluff, Light Angst, M/M, Mild Smut, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-24
Updated: 2015-11-24
Packaged: 2018-05-03 04:38:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,243
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5276954
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silverdoll14/pseuds/silverdoll14
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>There are times Sho looks at Jun. The younger male jokes that maybe he's obsess. Sho doesn't deny it, but it doesn’t mean he is. Through the years, Sho just knows what he loves looking at Jun. </i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	Even Then, Even Now: Looking At You

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Lilly0](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lilly0/gifts), [akhikaru](https://archiveofourown.org/users/akhikaru/gifts).



> Part of Even Then, Even Now Verse. This fic could be treated as a separate one-shot.This is dedicated to akhikaru (who recently celebrated her birthday) and lilly0.

"You're looking at me again."

 

Sho snapped out of his reverie after hearing Jun's voice. Rather than be flustered of being find out, he smiled at his lover. "Yes, I am." He admitted with no shame.

 

The night was still young, yet Sho was already in his pajamas. He was sitting by the bed, his back against the headboard comfortably. He had a book in his lap to entertain himself as he waited for Jun to join him in bed and go to sleep. It seemed that the man himself was all the amusement Sho needed, and the book was now completely forgotten.

 

From where he was, he could see the other raising an eyebrow before shrugging and facing the mirror once again. Jun was in the bathroom, standing in front of the sink. There was shaving cream coating his jaw and an electric shaver in hand.

 

"We're just going to sleep, Jun." Sho reminded his lover with a teasing tone.

 

Jun gave him an annoyed look, but instead of being offended, Sho just grinned at the other.

 

"I know." Jun replied, looking back at the mirror and shaved a part off. "I might just forget to do so tomorrow since we have an early schedule." Jun reasoned. A pout was visible in his face with a thoughtful face. Jun was probably recalling the reason why he was so persistent in shaving now.

 

Sho chuckled as he closed his book. He wouldn’t definitely be able to do some reading. "You're still not letting that one go huh?" Sho asked.

 

“Well I was hoping you guys would know it’s me because of my eyebrows.”Jun groaned, shaving another part again before adding. “But then you go and figure it out because I didn’t shave the whole day.”

 

Sho chuckled, remembering how their last shooting in Shiyagare with members of Hey!Say!Jump went.

“Well, at least we did show them how much we know each other in many ways.” Sho defended.

 

Jun sent him a blank face before continuing in shaving. Sho added to poke fun, "Sorry Jun." Sho said in English, trying to imitate Keito. It successfully made Jun laugh.

 

It took a few more minutes before Jun could talk again, and Sho didn’t mind the silence. Only hum of the electric shaver and the soft sound of Tokyo’s busy night could be heard.

 

It was really fun to watch Jun doing his stuff anyways. Sho liked to watch Jun putting moisturizer cream to his face after shaving, washing it off with water before drying off with a towel from a nearby rack. Jun's hair was visibly still damp. It was a reminder that Jun just came off from a nice long bath. It might be an exaggeration, but Sho swore he could smell the faint scent of Jun's citrus shampoo.

 

Sho's eyes never left Jun as the latter approached their bed, drying off his hair before hanging the towel in a nearby chair. Jun joined him in the bed afterwards. Sho just lied there, watching as Jun went under the covers before closing the lamp shade in his side.

 

When Sho didn’t budge to turn off the light in his side, Jun asked. “Are you going to read some more, or going to sleep?”

 

Sho pondered for a moment. Once decided, he removed the book and made himself comfortable under the covers. He lied down sideways, facing Jun.

 

“Sho-san, the light…?”Jun reminded, turning his whole body to face Sho. Rather than obliging, Sho just stayed put, staring at Jun some more. He ignored the fact that Jun called him ‘Sho-san’ again – which was getting frequent recently. Somehow, his stare made Jun blush, making the younger male to push him lightly. “You are seriously grossing me out.”

 

Sho pouted, “Am I that gross?”

 

Jun feigned thinking about the matter before grinning. He pinched Sho’s upper arm.

 

“Ouch!”Sho exclaimed, rubbing soothingly at the spot which Jun had pinched. “What’s that for?” Sho asked.

 

“That’s for being a creep!” Jun said bluntly. He covered his head with the blanket in a huff.

 

“Oh come on Jun!” Sho was half-whining and half-laughing. He tried to remove the blanket away from Jun. He even went to as far as going on top of Jun and yanking the blanket off Jun's head.

 

"Matsumoto!" Sho called when his attempts were futile. Thankfully, Jun did peak his eyes out from the blankets.

 

"Okay, okay... We'll sleep now...” Sho promised, pecking any part of Jun's face he could see, coaxing the younger male to remove the blanket completely off his face. Sho's antics made Jun howl in laughter, and somehow it turned into a tickling session.

 

Yeap, Jun was ticklish out of the Arashi members. Sho had the younger male squirming until he pinned Jun's arms in each side of the younger male's head. They were catching their breathes, but their eyes were intently looking at each other.

 

Sho could see that Jun was anticipating his next move. He could heat things up, but Sho was well aware that Jun wasn’t in the mood for that. There was something in Jun’s eyes that made Sho sad for a moment. He opted in brushing Jun's bangs away before placing at kiss on Jun's forehead instead.

 

Jun closed his eyes. His smile was small, but with gratitude.

 

"Goodnight." Sho said rolling to his side of bed while still facing Jun who was also facing him back.

 

Sho pecked Jun's nose. The younger male cringed in reply, but the older male could see a tinge of red in his cheeks.

 

"G'night."Jun murmured sleepily.

 

Sho turned off the night lamp in his side, settling down to the bed to get some sleep. Almost half an hour later, Sho still found himself looking at Jun. His eyes were just really enthralled by the beauty in front of him. _It’s simple as that._

 

Sho got to thank his luck that it was full moon tonight. The moonlight going through the gap of the curtains complemented Jun’s pale complexion. Sho hadn’t seen anything as exquisite as what he was seeing now. Maybe he did, but it had always been Jun who had captured his eyes. The younger male did nothing but to make him fall in love over and over. Sho had always loved to look at Jun at any given time, even then...

 

 

 

> Sho didn't know when it started. It could have been before when they started dating. Maybe it was even before Sho had realized about his feelings for Jun.
> 
> _Or was it from the very start?_
> 
>  
> 
> Sho didn't have a specific idea. Somehow, it just ordinary for him to look at Jun in every chance he got. It wasn't a past time, and definitely not an obsession. It was just that his eyes would automatically find Jun.
> 
>  
> 
> Sho couldn't help but just stare and watch.
> 
>  
> 
> It would be in those times when Jun would eat. It would be in their variety shows, or those times that they would be eating together. Sho even remembered those times when they were younger, and they would eat at some Italian restaurant after Sho’s classes in Keio. Jun had this toothy grin every time the he gulped down a mouthful of pasta.Was it because the food he was eating looked really delicious, or was it because Jun was glowing when he ate? Sho concluded that a satisfied Jun with food was a sight to behold.
> 
>  
> 
> Sho also loved watching Jun when he worked. It was a given already that he found Jun praiseworthy. Whether it was about his work ethics, his dedication and passion, Jun only deserved praises. He had always been a witness how Jun put out his heart in any circumstances, and that made Jun admirable in Sho's eyes _(and probably to a lot of people's eyes)._
> 
>  
> 
> When tutoring Jun before, Sho would always see how concentrated Jun was with homework and exams. During meetings and briefings, Jun's passion while giving his insights, suggestions, and ideas didn't escape Sho. During the times when Jun was starring in dramas, Sho would see how Jun diligently worked it out with his roles. No-good scenes weren't an option, and Jun would do his best to bring out the character he was in. As they shot variety shows, The older male would watch with amusement as Jun tried his best whatever situation was thrown at his direction. Sho would be beaming with pride while watching Jun in accomplishing things with hard work.
> 
>  
> 
> Of course, there were times when some things wouldn't go with how Jun wanted it to be. Sho had witness how Jun would break down in those hardships, vulnerable and hopeless. Jun still looked stunning in Sho's opinion even with tears flowing from his eyes and snot coming out from his nose. Jun would probably say he looked like shit, but Sho wouldn't have it in any other way. It was because Sho loved to see how Jun would still stand up and overcome anything just to reach his goal. That was something Sho would always respect about Jun.
> 
>  
> 
> There are also times when Sho saw Jun crying about petty things. May it be how Jun would tear up because of some scene in a movie or evening drama, he didn't find it disgusting one bit. He wasn't even least affected because finding Jun greeting the Elmo stuff toy he had since grade school from time to time was actually far more weird.
> 
>  
> 
> It didn't even surprise Sho when he chanced on Jun greeting _‘thanks for the hard work’_ to the monitor seriously. Sho just came back from the kitchen after getting the food he heated up in the microwave. He thought Jun was saying it to someone over the phone, but it was actually Jun giving his greetings to the Sho in the screen when the recorded News Zero ended. Jun blushed after knowing he had been found out. Sho just laughed it off, completely amused about it. If Sho would be honest, he always loved witnessing Jun's weirdness too.
> 
>  
> 
> Looking at Jun early in the morning was one of Sho’s favorite things especially when the latter was still sleeping. He got to see Jun while raw and fresh no matter how messy his hair was with strands sticking out in different places. There were also times when Jun had the remnants of drool in the side of his mouth. Sho found it enjoyable just to observe.
> 
>  
> 
> When Jun finally stirred awake at those times, Sho would be grinning while greeting Jun. If Jun was in good mood, the younger male would greet back. If not, Sho would receive a scowl or a glare. Thankfully, Sho learned that giving Jun a morning kiss first thing first would help in removing that frown. It usually ended with them sleeping for another half an hour _(five minutes when there was an early schedule)_ before completely waking up.
> 
>  
> 
> That would lead to another sight Sho would always love to watch.
> 
>  
> 
> The kitchen was the place where Jun would create lots of magic. _(Of course, that's metaphorical.)_ Sho would watch closely how Jun would mince the garlic, flip the pan, or put ingredients in a boiling pot of hot water. Jun would be wearing a white and purple apron with ruffles at the end. Sho got him that when they first move in together _(after some argument of why ruffles though.)_
> 
>  
> 
> Jun moved swiftly with it, and Sho would follow Jun's every move with his eyes. He was completely in awe. When the food was done, Jun would look at him nervously as Jun reached out the plate of a new recipe for Sho to try. Jun looked adorable at those moments. Jun would fidget – albeit trying to hide it. Sho enjoyed the fact that he was the reason for it.
> 
>  
> 
> _("You're too full of yourself, Sakurai Sho." Jun retorted._
> 
> _"At least half the reason then…?" Sho offered._
> 
> _"Well, you're the taster so it goes without saying." Jun gave in. Sho was smug for the next half an hour.)_
> 
>  
> 
> Another thing that could make Sho's heart flutter were the times he would witness Jun laughing out loud without a care of others or what he looked like. Jun's smiles had always been bright especially at those times, carefree and laidback. It did brighten Sho's day anyhow.
> 
>  
> 
> Seeing a caring Jun was also a treat to Sho's eyes. May it be directed to him, to the other members, to people around them or to anyone, Sho would love to see how Jun's eyes were gentle and sincere while helping anyone who was in need of help
> 
>  
> 
> Sho couldn't help but be grateful at the fact that he had the love of that caring man.
> 
>  
> 
> But what Sho loved seeing the most was Jun looking back at him and only at him.
> 
>  
> 
> Every time Jun's eyes would meet with his eyes, Sho’s heart would do summersaults _(if that was even possible)_. His chest felt bubbly, and there were times he would end up blushing. Jun's eyes were intense, but not because Jun had distinctive features. It was like Sho could see Jun’s soul.
> 
>  
> 
> It would happen when both would be lazing around in the apartment in their day off.They would be cuddling in the couch while gobbling snacks (mostly Sho though), and a cheesy romantic flick was playing in the screen. Sho had his arms around Jun as the latter fed him microwave popcorn. In some part of the movie, Jun would look up, smiling at him. Sho would smile back. He would be drawn to Jun's eyes. He couldn't stop himself from reaching out to brush Jun's bangs away before placing a kiss in Jun's forehead. The younger male would reply him a delighted chuckle before resuming watching the movie.
> 
> There were also times their eyes would cross by chance. It would mostly happen when they were in the middle of work. Whether it was in a photo shoot, filming, rehearsals, or even concerts, their eyes would meet in the middle of dozens or thousands people around them. Jun would smile, and Sho would smile along. It was like they were saying to each other that _"I see you out of all these people."_
> 
> Sho felt his heart soar because, _heck, those moments would even make fans go gaga._
> 
>  
> 
> Nothing would be more than intense though when their eyes would meet in intimacy.
> 
>  
> 
> Those times would happen when they moved with instincts as their guide. Heat would spread all throughout their bodies as both were meshed together.
> 
>  
> 
> There was that one night. It started when they were having a playful banter about the movie they just watched for an idle Saturday night. Sho had teased Jun for being too adorable. Who wouldn't say so? Wasn't it delectable how a grown-up man would still tear up at the scene when Rose let the frozen Jack go after Titanic sank? To think Sho knew for a fact that Jun probably had watch that movie hundreds of times already.
> 
>  
> 
> When it was time for bed, Sho couldn't help but poke fun about it. Jun played along, and a wrestling match commenced. Somehow, it ended with Jun hovering over Sho above the messy sheets of their bed. They stayed like that for minutes. Their eyes concentrated at each other while catching their breaths.
> 
>  
> 
> Sho watched how the Adam’s apple in Jun’s throat bobbed when the younger male unconsciously swallowed.
> 
>  
> 
> That was the time when sparks flared, and no one could stop the inevitable. Jun unsurprisingly leaned down to kiss Sho, but the older male met him halfway.
> 
>  
> 
> It was slow at first until small pecks became passionate kisses. It was longer and needy. Their hands started moving, roaming to every patch of skin they could reach. Jun rolled his hips, making the two of them to moan as their crotches rubbed against each other. With each kiss, the intensity of their movements increased until breaths were needed.
> 
>  
> 
> They were breathless at that moment. Jun recovered first, touching Sho's bruised lips tenderly with fondness. Sho closed his eyes in content. Although the constraints of their pants were getting uncomfortable with their apparent bulges, no one moved. No one tried to do something about it.
> 
>  
> 
> Sho didn't mind. He liked their current position now with Jun steady above him. It was like Jun was the gravity that would always pull him down, reminding him that this was all real. Jun was his as he was Jun's.
> 
>  
> 
> "I love you."
> 
>  
> 
> Sho opened his eyes after hearing it. Jun's eyes were looking back at him. It was beautiful. Sho could see honesty and sincerity in it. _I could see so much love._
> 
>  
> 
> Sho reached out his hand, cupping Jun’s cheek. He urged Jun to lean down, whispering something only for Jun to hear.
> 
>  
> 
> “Take me…”
> 
> Sho saw how Jun was surprised at what he said. After all, it was the first time their roles were reversed.
> 
>  
> 
> Sho knew along the way this would happen. There would be a time when he would be the one taking it. He was expecting Jun to be the one to initiate it. Jun never did. Somehow, Sho knew the reason why. Jun knew that even if he was committed to their relationship, he was still new to all of these. _He didn't want to rush me._
> 
>  
> 
> Jun nosed his cheek affectionately. It was a silent question whether he was sure about it, and Sho had always been sure when it came to Jun. _Always will..._
> 
>  
> 
> Sho nodded, placing a kiss in Jun's lips.
> 
>  
> 
> Jun didn't reply anything. He just pulled his shirt off above his head while looking at Sho. He did the same for Sho before diving in for a kiss. One by one, they took off the pieces of garments covering their bodies until both were flushed and naked.
> 
>  
> 
> Sho didn't move until he was told so. He let Jun take the lead. He closed his eyes and let his body feel every move Jun made to him. He felt how soft Jun’s lips were against his, how gentle each caress Jun did, and how warm Jun’s skin against his skin.
> 
>  
> 
> Sho let out a moan when he felt Jun engulfing his shaft. When he opened his eyes, Sho’s breathe hitch. He saw how Jun was staring back at him, his member disappearing into Jun’s mouth. It was so sensual, so intimate that Sho felt his heart beating rapidly.
> 
>  
> 
> Jun did something with his tongue that made Sho’s toes curled in anticipation.Sho felt overwhelmed. His senses were in rapture especially when he felt a cold finger probed his hole.He didn’t even notice that Jun had the lube already till one finger was inserted inside him.
> 
>  
> 
> Jun took his time in preparing Sho until three fingers were inside of the older male. When Jun let go of Sho’s member with a pop, Sho felt nervous and excited at the same time.
> 
>  
> 
> Jun was looking at Sho again when the younger male positioned himself between Sho’s legs. It was as if Jun was asking permission once again, and Sho smiled to reassure him.
> 
>  
> 
> Jun kissed each of Sho’s thighs as an act of gratitude, and his own assurance to Sho too. _Don’t worry, I’m here._ Sho trusted him like always.
> 
>  
> 
> There were unshed tears in Sho’s eyes that threatened to fall when Jun pushed inside him. He gasped at the foreign intrusion, but it wasn’t that uncomfortable. Maybe Jun’s lips dancing against his was the perfect distraction he needed. It always worked anyways. Jun pulled back after a few minutes of stillness and letting him adjust. The head was the only part inside until the younger male pushed in to set a steady rhythm when Sho started mewling.
> 
>  
> 
> Sho held Jun like his life depended to it. As Jun’s thrusts turned deeper and faster, their moans and groans were heard. Sho felt warm when Jun leaned down, kissing a patch of skin between his shoulder blade and neck before Jun settled his face against it.
> 
>  
> 
> Jun angled his thrust so that it’d go deeper, snapping his hips forward. It hit Sho's spot repeatedly, bringing the older male to the brink.
> 
>  
> 
> Sho’s hands were in each side of his head, and somehow, Jun’s hands find its way to grasp on it.
> 
> Sho’s hands grasped tighter as Sho felt he was close, arching his back in pleasure. When he opened his eyes, Jun was now looking at him, panting but with a gentle smile.
> 
>  
> 
> “I’m going to…” Sho gasped, feeling the tying knots in his stomach. Jun nodded, nosing Sho’s nose to urge him to release. He did as he moaned hoarsely Jun's name. He tightened around Jun, and the younger male released inside him after a few more thrusts.
> 
>  
> 
> They were panting, with Jun still steady above Sho. Jun brushed his fringe away, kissing his sweaty forehead with a smile. Sho closed his eyes in bliss, succumbing to the afterglow of making love. When he opened his eyes, he felt tears forming in the corner of his eyes.
> 
>  
> 
> Sho wasn’t sentimental, but there was something with the way Jun was looking at him. He just had to ask.
> 
>  
> 
> “Will you stay with me forever?”
> 
>  
> 
> To be honest, Sho was more surprised than Jun that he was the one saying it. Yet here he was, letting words like it was a normal thing to do. Maybe it was. They were together, and everything just felt right. He didn’t take it back. He just asked, and he got his answer.
> 
>  
> 
> Jun didn’t say anything. The younger male didn’t have to. Sho could already see it in Jun’s eyes. It was glassy and full of emotions, but one thing was for sure.
> 
>  
> 
> _“You don’t have to ask. I’ll always stay.”_
> 
>  
> 
> Sho would always love looking at the younger male at any given opportunity. With Jun, Sho could see his future, even now…

 

 

 

“You’re looking at me again.”

 

Sho’s train of thought stopped after it registered to him that Jun had spoken without opening his eyes. The younger male only did when Sho didn’t reply yet. Jun’s orbs were beautiful and glowing.

 

It was morning already, and Sho was the first one up between them. He had been observing Jun for half an hour already. He was just lying there sideways while Jun was lying on his back. The other was still sleep until now.

 

“It’s natural for me to look at you.” Sho admitted. He reached his hand when Jun turned around to face him.

 

Jun closed his eyes, snuggling at the warm of Sho’s palm against his cheeks. When he opened his eyes, he asked, “What do you see in me, Sho?” There was a trace of doubt in his voice. “There’s nothing to see in me.” Jun added.

 

Sho didn’t flinched when he heard what Jun had said. It didn’t even surprise him. It was sad honestly. There were still times when Jun questioned what they have, not believing why they are here now, and doubting Sho’s love.

 

Sho had seen it these past few days. Jun had been careful around him recently that he was more open about how close they really were in front of everyone. Of course, Jun reciprocated his approaches. Still, Sho had the feeling Jun did it for the sake of satisfying the fans.

 

Sho didn’t blame his lover. Jun wasn’t perfect. He wasn’t either. Their relationship was far from it even. Nevertheless, these imperfects were what made their relationship perfect for Sho. These flaws were what made it stronger and firmer. He had Jun’s trust as Jun had his. That was enough, and he intended to stay.

 

Sho had his hand at the back of Jun’s head, pulling the latter gently closer until he could feel Jun’s nose against his neck. Jun curled against his body, grabbing a handful of Sho’s shirt. Sho kissed Jun’s hair. His hand was soothingly rubbing Jun’s back.

 

“You’re wrong.” Sho whispered against Jun’s hair. Sho closed his eyes, holding Jun tighter. The image of Jun etched in his mind like it had always been.

 

“I only need to see you.” Sho said.

 

_(Jun didn’t reply. Sho only felt a smile forming against his neck.)_

 

 

 

Maybe that was the reason why it was easy to do their next photo shoot. It was for a calendar, and Aiba called it playfully named it Overdone Calendar 2016 _(Sho needed to remind himself though that he needed to thank Director Aiba for such a wonderful concept for the month of June.)_

 

There they were in set that looked like a cramped room. Ohno – as a grandpa – was acting to be sleep beside Jun at the farthest side opposite Sho. It was the same for Aiba who was in the middle, donning girl get up. On the other hand, Nino went for extreme measures of sleeping upside down beside him. He and Jun were the only ones supposed to be _‘awake’_ , staring at each other. It was like they have ulterior motives to heat things up like what a husband and wife would do. _(Sho would have done so because Jun with a mustache was kinda – well, super – hot.)_

It wasn’t really like that though. They were just really looking at afar that they could see deep in each other eyes.

 

_"Even in a hundred years, I vow my love…" – One Love, Arashi_


End file.
